Somebody was asking me to lend him money. He sounded desparate but from past records, the possibility of him not paying back is there. Coincidentally, I did have that much amount he asked for which I kept aside to save for my new handphone which I planned to buy in 2 months (my Iphone 3GS is damaged and currently I'm using a Samsung. He said he will pay back and I said to him 'Please, please pay me back'.
As a background, previously I thought I don't have that much to share. I donate when I feel I have extra. I seldom treat my friends or family, which I do only on special occasion e.g when I get promoted or bonuses. Unlike some people who treats whenever they have or don't have extra. I used to think they make more than I do while my pay was only enough to make ends meet and settle my credit card.
I seldom go on a shopping spree but I don't mind spending on brand and quality. Due to that, I'm willing to save and buy nothing this month so I can get what I want next month. My monthly pay is divided into savings and zakat, car loan, contribution for the household and parents, credit card and monthly maintenance e.g lunch at work and fuel. Most of the time I had to scheme on fuel and lunch because the balance would be just enough and at the same time I thought I should leave it there in the account in case of emergency.
What's lingering in my mind is if the extra money that I save to pay someone else was borrowed by someone else who promise to pay back (which I doubt he will because he has poor cash management), should I ask him to pay back or should I just let it go?
Don't you always heard that we need to have savings at least 3 months salary for emergency. And save for the things that you want instead of buying on credit card. I followed that advice and now I'm a bit confused on how to incorporate that into the concept of 'rezeki' and 'sedekah'.
I have learnt that when I don't get what I want there and then, it's just not my rezeki. So maybe in this situation, it is just not my rezeki to pay my own debt?
At the moment I'm writing this, I feel relieved of letting go the borrowed money. It wasn't the case yesterday when I was thinking on how to get the money back, because I too owe someone else.
The dilemma now is should I or should I not call him up asking him to pay back when secretly I feel like I'm not gonna get my money?
Another thought is, should I lent him money in future if I know he's not gonna pay? I don't know. Currently I feel like only giving him the amount that I'm comfortable with so I don'thave to worry whether I'll get it back. I'll give it as sedekah.
After reading a book 'Mudahnya Menjemput Rezeki' by Fathuri Salehuddin, I'm learning to accept this situation as this:
- If he doesn't pay, then it is not my rezeki to pay my own debt. It is his and insyaallah I will get something in return from Allah SWT if I redha.
- If he pays, then it's good for him and me and the person who I owe. Berkatilah kehidupan kami, Ya Allah.
- Just let this go, it's only money. What I should be concern about is keredhaan Allah SWT.
Ya Allah, aku bersyukur ke hadratMu di atas pencerahan ini. Semoga aku lebih tabah dan redha menjalani kehidupan dengan bimbinganMu, Ya Allah......
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