RAIZ The Investment App

 Aku start guna Raiz exactly on 9 Nov 2022. So lebih kurang dah 1 tahun 4 bulan. Dalam akaun sekarang ada RM801 which RM200 duit yang aku masukkan. Selebihnya daripada round ups daripada transaction yang aku buat through credit card or transfer or MAE total dalam RM505.68 (sebenarnya lebih lagi tapi Raiz dah tolak RM22 untuk monthly charge RM1.50 per month)

• % from deposit+round ups dalam 13.6%, tapi ni belum tolak monthly charge RM1.50. % akan turun lagi la, tak setinggi 13.6%
• Selama 16 bulan, average Round Up dalam 505.68/16 = RM31.60 sebulan
• Kalau aku nak dapat RM1,600, dalam Raiz kena ada at least RM11,800
• Tapi Raiz ni ada fees ya:

Lama-lama tgk calculation kat page dia ni, pening pulak kalau nak amik kira from investment perspective.

Aku pikir, nanti bila aku retire, duit belanja pakai duit dalam Raiz. So dia pusing-pusing, belanja - kena tolak masuk Raiz - belanja- kena tolak masuk Raiz...haha...tapi tang charges dia tu...camna nak amik kira? Kalau amik dari akaun bank biasa, kita tak nampak duit masuk. Kalau Raiz, kita nampak duit yang dia dok tolak bila kita berbelanja...

Biar aku pikir lagi....

Volunteer to speak

 Today, I volunteered to participate in Toastmaster Club ad hoc speech...Well done to you!

Ujian Allah untuk aku

I had a bad day yesterday. Maybe it was not that bad but I felt so awful. I felt ashamed and couldn't let it go. I tried to reason with myself it was not that erroneous but I still felt crappy. I tried to forget about it to continue with my life but yet I couldn't get my mind not to think about it and felt dissatisfied, inferior.

I tried to reason with myself but I still could not comprehend why it happened to me. I tried to read between the lines what Allah SWT is trying to show me. I tried to seek solace by spending time with my family at dinner, hugging my husband and yet I was not at rest, not satisfied with the reasoning I came out with and could not let go of the incident.

I've been asking Allah SWT, what Allah SWT was trying to show me. Was it because I was proud of myself too much? Was it because I didn't really do a good job? I tried to defend myself but somehow I thought my action backfired and useless. Or things would start to unveil one by one that I haven't actually do a good job before my resignation? Was it because I laughed too much? At this point I still could not get the negative thoughts out of my mind. It made me feel inferior, scared and ashamed. Why? Why am I very afraid and nervous in front of the management? Why I felt overly concerned with the small hiccup and thought my world is going to be over? Until....

I woke early as usual and still could not be at peace about it. I got out of bed, solat tahajjud, taubat and hajat seeking relief from Allah SWT. Ya Allah, finally I found my peace. I was trying to recall my experience in the past few days. Among them was I was busy preparing telematch stuff for coming weekend, my cousin passed away on Sunday...and suddenly it struck me....

During the visit to my cousin's house, I couldn't empathize what the widow was feeling. Yes, I felt her loss but one thing I missed was how hard for her to accept the situation because it came as a shock. That Sunday morning was like any other day as my cousin (arwah) went out to jog nearby his house alone. Definitely his wife (now widow) didn't expect that was the last time she would see him.

How I relate this to my incident is now I know my reaction when I'm in shock. In my case, I felt relief having done a good job but later in the end was commented to improve in front of my management. That came as a surprise and I didn't expect the comment at all because I thought I did ok during the audit. To me this is a shocking news. So now I know how it feels like when I'm faced with a shocking news. I'll dwell and all the negative thoughts will start flooding in and poisoning my mind. I will start questioning why it happens, what I have done wrong. This is my reaction if I am in shock.....

The truth is, people don't actually care how I feel. OK, I may have done a mistake. I just need to accept it and do better next time. Yes, it was highlighted in front of the management, so what? 'She's a crap' they might say but should it affect me? It a way, I shall take note but don't have to feel overly concerned about it. Other people have worse experience than me and yet they survive. So I should too. Just get on with my life. There are other important things that matter to me and I should continue on.

About being too nervous and trying to avoid the management, it could be because of my childhood experience. I may have issues with authoritative figure....I may try to avoid them because I'm afraid of them. Afraid to be in front of them, afraid to converse with them. This may sound normal and common but I'm trying to figure out why. I should treat this behavior because my fear should only for Allah SWT.

Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah SWT as I feel at ease now and let gone be bygone. Thank you Allah for showing me the lesson learnt from this experience. Thank you Allah for letting me know the feeling of loss and how devastated my cousin's wife must have felt right now.....

New things I did so far in 2023

 Just to list out new things I did this year to remind me to keep going:

1. Declare to re-invent myself in IG
2. Started to post reels on IG. I like it!
3. Help out during gotong-royong SKJ4. Met energetic people
4. Joined sports fiesta, playing carrom
5. Tukar lampu kalimantang

Syawal dah nak berakhir

 Tahun ni memang rasa Syawal tu sekejap sangat....sebab cuti balik kampung tu panjang kot. Tahun ni aku kena ganti puasa 7 hari. Selalu aku dapat puasa enam sekaligus tapi tahun ni takda rezeki sebab this week is the last Syawal week. Saja nak list out things happened last week sebagai kenangan:

Ahad 7hb: Masak bihun sup jemput Mcik, Anjang, Azie, Imi sekeluarga

Isnin, Selasa, Khamis: puasa ganti (3 hari). 

Hari Selasa 9hb aku bawa HRV as practice untuk pegi Melaka weekend nanti, pastu balik dari kerja masak lagi sebab Akmal nak datang ziarah (dia tak dapat dtg hari Ahad). Bersilat aku kat dapur sebab ayam/ikan memang tak keluarkan. Plan nak beli sotong buat goreng tepung balik kerja tapi takda rezeki sebab sotong ke, udang ke dah abis. Sib baik sebelum tu mintak husband beli lauk bila dia keluar makan tengahari so dia belik ayam/daging salai masak lomak cilik api. Aku pulak masak ikan jenahak bakar, goreng sayur dengan telur. Pastu tambah ayam goreng Airfryer. Total lauk ada 5 (masak lemak, sayur goreng, ayam goreng, omelette, ikan bakar)

Rabu 10hb: Jamuan Raya TM kat sebelah, Abah pegi UK seminggu (Rabu ke Rabu). Kali ni aku tak nak bersilat. Kalau dulu aku akan maintain pegi opis awal jugak so punyalah berebut bersiap sebab kena hantar the 2 boys to school then off straight to work. Kali ni aku nak settle hantar dioghang dulu, pastu aku balik rumah mandi and bersiap. Kalau routine  biasa, keluar rumah kul 7.10 (dah ready nak pegi opis).....bila husband outstation, aku keluar rumah 7.10 jugak tapi belum mandi...haha!

Khamis 11hb:1st time aku tukar lampu kalimantang. Kebetulan Irdina nak balik rumah Khamis malam sebab kolej dia takda air. Dia balik bertiga dengan kawan-kawan dia. Aku baru teringat 'Alamak! lampu bilik Irdina ada problem'......bila ON dia berkelip, sakit mata. Masa tu dah pukul 9.00 pm lebih, pegi kedai pun dah nak tutup kot. Sian dia. Masa tu aku tengah sibuk masak kuah laksa untuk hari Jumaat. 

Jumaat 12hb: Masak Laksa Johor, jemput officemate datang rumah. Actually member yang suggest co -host sebab dia nak masak Nasi Tomato, pastu dia suh aku masak Laksa Johor and venue kat rumah aku. Aku OK jek sebab bahan mentah memang banyak aku beli aritu tu kecuali ikan la.Aku nak tenang-tenang jek hari Jumaat so tu yang kuah Laksa aku masak Khamis malam. Sampai kul 12.00 malam kau.

Lepas jamu officemate makan, aku pegi Speedmart beli lampu baru and pasangkan kat bilik Irdina. Rupanya senang jek! Haha! Kenapa la selama ni harapkan Abah! Adoiiiii....

Sabtu 13hb: Nak ke Melaka pulak sebab Akmal jemput open house rumah dia. Melaka dekat je dalam 1 1/2 jam so memang aku nak pegi although suami takda. Boleh beraya ke rumah Iwan sekali. Kasyif and Irdina tak ikut so aku ajak Mak Long since kereta kosong. Ni 1st time Kasyif tanya boleh tak dia tinggal sebab dia ada aktiviti kat sekolah. Bagusla dia menyuarakan pendapat dia and aku OK je.

Aku bertolak Sabtu pagi kul 11.30 am. Aku dah expect jem teruk tapi Alhamdulillah perjalanan lancar although kereta banyak. Lepak rumah Akmal sampai pukul 5.00 pastu pegi rumah Iwan. Aku baru perasan aku letih sebab bila petang tu aku tak cakap banyak. Pikir nak mandi jek sebab panas! 

Esoknya Ahad 14hb, aku bantu masak nasi goreng and balik ke Bangi pukul 11.00 am jugak sebab nak elak jem. Initial plan nak antar Jasmin balik Baranang. Pastu Irdina kata dia nak antar tapi pukul 5.00 petang tu dia tak bangun lagi, masih tido so aku kata kat Jasmin biar aku antar. Pastu dalam 5.15 dia tanya should dia naik Ashraf sebab Ashraf pun dah bersiap nak balik. Aku suh dia yang decide so dia kata naik Ashraf. Aku ok jek tapi before nak kuar dia peluk aku pastu nangis. Aku tanya kenapa? Nak mama antar ke? Lama dia pikir, pastu dia kata takpa la...dia naik Ashraf. Aku tanya dia nape dia sedih. Dia kata takda pape, homesick saja....

Sampai ke malam aku berpikir pasal Jasmin. Aku berdoa 'Ya Allah! Kau tenangkan hati anak-anak aku Irdina, Jasmin, Kasyif and Lutfi supaya boleh belajar dengan tenang'.

Happening betul last week. Dengan hubby not around, masak 2-3 round, bawak HRV pegi opis and Melaka. 

Aku ni nak pegi Rome in 2 weeks tapi memang tak finalize apa-apa pun lagi. Kete sewa and hotel kat UK belum book lagi.....pasni la....

How do I want to write my story?

 I was reading back my previous posts and I wanted to come back to this question: 

How do I want to write my story?

I used to be self limiting, lack of confidence and have no plans to accomplish something. Then COVID 19 pandemic happened and I wondered whether life is nudging me to re-look my life...Am I happy with what I'm doing? Is this the life that I pictured in my mind? Other people seem progressing and I think I have not progressing toward my goals. What is my goal?

My goal was too general...Lead a happy life. So am I currently happy? Yes, to a certain extent. I have a loving husband, loveable kids, a job that provide benefits, able to do and buy what I want (although still thinking I can't afford a LV)....but I still feel I'm missing something.

• I want to re-write and reset my life
• I want to tap into my creative side
• I want to achieve something. I want to be able to earn a little bit from digital and social media (Youtube/IG/TikTok). I can imagine myself sitting at a desk for hours strategizing or producing videos.

There are so many things I need to do and learn to be able to accomplish these. I'm giving myself a challenge to work on myself

Progess as a content creator

Hari ni dah 20 Feb. The unsureness has kicked in. Tapi Alhamdulillah, a few of motivational qoutes remind me to keep going. There are a few things I've discovered that could have stopped me but as I take them as part of the progress, those should not deter me from keep going. Everyone can and everyone face the same thing as I am....

I've made 3 posts and 13 reels within a month...semangat as new starter but I also discovered that IG doesn't pay you. They only pay for reels in US. So memang kena cari product, jual...

Currently, my goal now is to gain traffic to my IG account. I have to be more open and post things that help others. Kena schedule berapa post seminggu, hari apa, content apa....

Aku pun dah register as Shopee Affiliate 14 Feb aritu. Try nak buat affiliate marketing pulak.

Aku juga kena start buat video Youtube.

Re-Inventing Myself

Powerful betul ayat tu RE_INVENT YOURSELF...terus rasa boleh buat Youtube video...Haha! Another mantra RESET YOURSELF

Things happened unintended. Last week sambil prepare breakfast dalam pukul 6 pagi aku dengar Youtube. Dengar, bukan tengok sebab audio connect ke bluetooth speaker. Walaupun TV kat living room, aku kat dapur sambil dengar Youtube, aku tak tengok TV....

Aku pun bukannya fokus sangat tapi tiba-tiba terdengar pasal experience Vanessa Lau ni start buat Youtube channel. Aku terpanggil untuk mendengar. Sebab tu 1st time aku dengar orang cerita camna dia start buat...dia ada bagi tips and somehow aku boleh imagine the work (hard work that is). And yet I was still intrigued.

Aku terus subscribe channel dia and check out her website. Ada cakap pasal quitting 9-5 job...wow! suits me very well...and that was how the idea of becoming a CONTENT CREATOR came about.

As of today after a week, aku still belum buat youtube video lagi. Idea datang mencurah-curah tapi belum sempat sort out and decide. Banyak kena planning kalau nak buat betul-betul, tapi Vanessa kata don't let that stop you from making the video. Buat je dulu, nanti akan progress jadi OK.

Aku pun pikir-pikir, kenapa aku rasa nak jadi CONTENT CREATOR ek? Sedangkan aku tak penah pun upload pape dlm IG or FB. Dok senyap je...

Aku agak aku attracted to the process. Ada planning and kena figure out the system. Aku boleh imagine aku dok lama-lama kat kerusi edit video, captions, analyzing. Sekarang pun aku dok kat kerusi lama-lama tapi buat kerja yang tak benefit aku. Aku boleh imagine buat menda ni bila aku berenti kerja nanti.

Aku tahu bukan senang nak jadi CONTENT CREATOR. Aku tahu mungkin akan mengambil masa yang lama but don't let that hinder you from doing. Sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit.

Untuk permulaan ni, aku amik je video dlm handphone aku. Surprisingly, aku dah upload 4 Instagram reels dalam masa 6 hari. Alhamdulillah....And I started to make my IG public

Aku masih pikir camna nak buat youtube video. Nak tunjuk muka ke tidak...siapa target audience and niche aku. Kena belajar cara nak amik video, buang malu depan kamera....huish! macam-macam la kena belajar...haha!

But at least, this is tapping into my creativity to create stuff i.e. videos, pictures, captions, audio, scripts...This vision betul-betul aku yang jadi boss. Kalau freelance, still kena buat kerja untuk orang kan....Of course la long term goal is to monetize and earn something....in sha Allah Allah tolong.

Doakan aku...harap tak sangkut ditengah jalan.

My 1st_Instagram reel

 I dunno what has gotten into me, I posted 3 reels during the CNY break! I've never done it before so it was purely trial and error. It's the mantra 'JUST DO IT' i guess...The first one was just a picture. The 2nd one was combined clips, initially edited in IG but later on in CapCut as demonstrated by my youngest. The 3rd one was done in the car when we were heading back home from Manjoi. The view of the Titiwangsa was too scenic not to be captured.

 And also I made my IG public. All because to achieve my end goal that is to gain high views and earn from IG. However, 1st I need to figure out the target audience, persona and niche. Sounds very much like marketing and I'm excited to find out more and work on it....

Performance Review 2022

Performance Review 2022

Semalam ada performance review dengan boss. Alhamdulillah mood boss semalam baik so it was more about casual talk. She told some positive news and I really appreciate it. It was how a boss should motivate her staff, telling her subordinate what she saw was extra. She voted me to higher performance rating and highlighted the extra herself. Bukan suh kita tulis sendiri macam masuk bakul angkat sendiri...

She also wanted to groom me to become her successor. So not to let her waste her time, I told her about my plan of quitting...'I may not be working here until I'm 60 or even 55' I said. She said 'Oooooo...' which I think is an expected response when someone respects other people's decisions.

She also asked my opinion about something and I asked her about what I wanted to know.

So, all in all to me the performance review went well.

Plan to quit

Now that I have given a headstart to my boss, I seriously need to charter the actions plans for the 'Road to Quitting'. Alhamdulillah, I've found Vanessa Lau's channel and website that could provide me the checklists needed about quitting the job and start on doing youtube channel.

Quick notes pagi Isnin

 Alhamdulillah for last week. Today, still dapat bangun pagi and tulis blog. Last week Monday, bangun tahajud, baca Al Quran sikit 2-4 mukasurat, buat yoga 30 min pastu prep breakfast. This week sebab baru dapat period, a few activities tak dapat buat.

I just want to remind myself the little achievements I did last year:

1. approached my secondary netball teacher
2. volunteered to find the venue and attended my secondary school reunion
3. patient and ask relevant question when scolded by my boss
4. drove to Petaling Jaya
5. take leave whenever I want

This year I don't want to feel miserable about work. To minimize that, I don't want to procrastinate. Get them done and over with. There is more important thing for me to focus on...RE-INVENT myself. I only have this year to explore. I need to figure out how to re-invent myself. Try reading from here

My plan is to learn making Youtube video. Learn from my youngest. Make time to learn on Saturday afternoon maybe.

I have to continue watching Vanessa Lau's channel and start something this week.

What lights me up? What is it that makes me happy inside and out?

Wrapping Up Friday

Baru minggu ke 2 but I'm already feeling the heat! Argghhhh....cool, cool...I like it when I felt 'apa aku kisah, just get it done'. Baru la rasa laju buat kerja. Sebab most of the time memang rasa 'why am I still here?'. This is all about work...hate it. To like it, I want to do things I've never done before, for my own personal growth. Things like jawab ikut suka, really know the numbers, help others, take charge, step up.

Believe in Allah SWT, the best planner.

Aritu dok tercari-cari apa yang aku nak try buat this year. Last year dah try basic bertukang (konon!). Tahun ni maybe nak try buat video for Youtube. Target 1 video in 2023. Haha! 1 jek? Susah wooo nak buat content. Came across Vanessa Lau kat Youtube, memang detailed la sharing dia.

Lagi satu, the word re-invent yourself, mind shift. I want to alter my mindset whenever there's a negative feeling about something. And not to take time to think the negative things. Celebrate people...

Raiz Investment: What's the hype?

 Raiz Investment is a roboadvisor for investment. Masa memula baca and FOMO, terus register. Sebabnya suka the idea of round up feature i.e bila kita shopping and total yang kita bayar odd numbers, Raiz akan round kan and beza round up dengan actual jumlah yang kita bayar masuk dalam akaun Raiz Investment.

Ingat masa tu buat registration atas katil pagi-pagi, kira terus buat la tanpa pikir panjang. Bila nak register tu, pening pulak. Ada 3 jenis akaun kena bagitau: 1. Funding account 2. Withdrawal acccount 3. Round Up account....alamak, aku dah pening....Masa aku buat registration ni was on 29 Sept.

Harini baru berkesempatan dig more info about Raiz. Rata-rata kata bagus be it on Youtube atau website/ blogs but this article The Millennial Finance in particular is very useful to me, sebab sama dengan apa yang aku rasa especially on

1. Only debit card for round up feature

Aku pikir sambil berbelanja, boleh buat micro investment through that round up feature. Aku ingatkan boleh link credit card tapi tak boleh sebenarnya (hopefully buat masa ini). Mesti debit card. 

Masalahnya aku selalu bayar guna credit card, so macam tak maximise la. Sama la dengan situation mamat ni. Why aku bayar guna credit card sbb boleh dapat points and convert beli barang. Mostly aku beli kat Parkson guna points tu. So patut ke aku tukar spending habit aku just because nak micro invest? Kena gali dik...

So sebab aku dah register, aku masukkan amount yang aku nak invest dulu (yg ni boleh buat jugak dalam Raiz, specify berapa nak invest). Aku belum masukkan debit card untuk feature round up tu tapi memang tak maximize la and tak capai la objective aku. Takpa, takpa, kita cuba.

2. Sebenarnya Raiz ada monthly charge

Aku baru tahu bila baca article, PNB products are the main investment portfolio and Raiz charge RM1.50 every month for their platform.  RM1.50 kalau investment < RM600k. Kalau lebih, dia charge 0.025% (kalau RM7,000 = RM1.75, RM30,000 = RM750). Kalau x da duit dalam akaun (0), Raiz tak charge apa-apa. Worth tak nak bayar charges banyak tu?

Aku pulak dah masukkan RM100 dalam investment account, try test tengok la....

• kalau aku dapat profit tapi break even from this, aku akan rugi dalam masa 66 bulan (5 tahun lebih kurang). 
• kalau aku ada dapat untung, boleh tak profit tu cover service charge tu. Keluarkan untung sebelum terlambat! Haha!
• kalau aku takda dapat untung, asyik rugi je...memang tak yah la guna Raiz ni

Sebab mostly pelaburan PNB i.e yang Amanah Saham whatever tu, boleh la compare dengan kita duit yang aku masukkan ikut ASB...which is takda charge langsung! Free!

Mamat tu kata RM1.50 agak mahal la for small investment contoh kalau kita masukkan RM150, annually jadi 12% atau 1% sebulan. Kalau 1.5% setahun tu baru berbaloi (dalam 0.125% sebulan). Contoh:

RM150 x 0.125% = 0.1875 (atau 18 sen sebulan) berbanding RM1.50 sebulan

Atau kalau kita masukkan RM1,500 macam mamat tu kira, baru OK nak bayar service charge RM1.50 tu (sebab RM1.50/RM1,500 = 1%)

Dia kata sebab tak dapat buat microinvest dengan round up feature, dia tak rasa dia nak masukkan RM1,500 dalam Raiz...baik dia masukkan dalam ASB sebab takda charge!

So mmg Raiz ni, aku try and error la. 

• Masukkan RM100, tengok apa jadi. 
• Nak link kan tak debit card (aku aku jarang guna untuk bayar expenses? Buat masa ni aku tak link lagi

Bengkel bertukang dengan Adiaida

 Alhamdulillah! Tercapai juga cita-cita nak guna mitre saw! I did this when I joined the woodworking workshop with Adiaida @ Ara Damansara. Bestnya rasa bila kita dapat benda yang kita idamkan.

There were only 2 participants including me. Memang dia buat in small number sebab kalau tak nanti tak sempat nak abis kelas dalam 1 hari. Kami start 11.15 am, abis dalam pukul 4.30 pm. Itu pun sebab shelf yang kami buat pun dah reduce from 3 tier to 2 tier.

We learnt to cut using mitre saw, drilling using impact driver and electric screw driver. I'm actually quite familiar with electric screw driver but I have never used an impact driver. Lagi kuat rupanya. Then we learnt to sand, how to repair broken wood.

I really enjoyed the class because I got to make something and use the tools I've been seeing in Youtube.

The reason I joined the class is as written here.So aku nak make worth of the ilmu yang I belajar. Buatlah apa-apa....build something. Can start small.

What I've learnt:

1. MEASURE AND RECORD

Write down the parts and quantity with measurement (inches/cm). Then cut wood to measurement. Tapi sekarang dah senang. Boleh beli pre-cut online. Kalau guna mitre saw, ada 3 step safety:

2. CUT WOOD TO SIZE

Nak bawak turun mata gergaji, ada 1 lock kena release. Bawak turun dulu baru press the power to run the saw. Bila saw dah potong, release dulu power baru bawak mata gergaji naik atas.

Kalau kita nak potong kayu with same measurement, better kita lock measurement. Bila nak potong, mata gerjaji kena atas laser point. Kadang-kadang starting kayu tak rata so kena ratakan dulu, depa panggil 'square off'. Pastu bila potong kayu boleh ada 'set back' i.e kayu tu boleh terpelanting.

3. MARK WHEN YOU WANT TO SCREW

Then mark where you want to joint the parts together. Boleh guna screw atau paku. Which side of the kayu pun boleh pilih, nak yang ada character atau nak plain smooth saja. Guna L ruler, pembaris untuk marking. Selalu we go 3/4 of the wood so tak payah lebih daripada tu.

Pengalaman, kayu aku split masa aku drill so Aida ajar caner nak repair balik. Basically guna gam untuk tampal balik kayu yang terpecah tu. Before we screw, kena buat lubang screw dulu kalau nak screw tu flushed dengan surface (yg mata ni aku takda, kena beli)

4. SAND DOWN 

Before kita pasang, kena sand down dulu mana-mana yang tak rata atau edge yang tajam. 1st time guna sander, comel je and Aida kata sanding ni macam iron baju.

Boleh touch dengan kertas pasir. Lagi tinggi nombor kertas pasir, lagi kasar. Contoh yang kami pakai #G38. Yang kasar can go beratus

5. THEN ASSEMBLE AND SCREW

Ni biasa buat kalau beli barang IKEA kan so part ni cam simple saja.

6. Lastly, once you're satisfied with the finish, boleh guna wood stain atau nak cat kaler. Walla!

My 1st project after AdiAida is to tackle my porch. Buat shelf kasut....Doakan ek....

What is my IKIGAI

 Had a good talk with husband before we doze off to sleep last night. I was trying to pour my heart out why I want to resign. First i thought it was because I felt that I'm being underpaid. Apparently not when we referred to Jobstreet Salary Report 2022. Well, I'm on the median side so depends how we intepret 'underpaid'.

We even referred to IKIGAI chart finding out where do I fall in to. I think I'm either in No. 1 or No. 4. Although I can do my job, I myself feel something is missing. Why do I want to quit? I can't imagine me working at my current company for the next 5 years!

Apparently I'm in No. 1 or No. 4

Why now?

I said I have accepted that is my rezeki and tried to stay on my job. I'm OK as long as I get to do what I want to and have time to focus on my personal life. I noticed I only brought up this matter lately. I have been patient for 15 years and why do I want to resign now? He said probably it started during the pandemic where we stayed at home a lot and because when WFH, there's no boundaries between work and personal matters.

Am I not being grateful for what I have?

He said we have not been challenged enough thus I'm not grateful for what I have (indirectly). He referred to posts from fb of his friends who shared their experiences and had gone through a lot of downs.

I may disagree with him here. Wanting more does not mean we are not grateful...

He told me about a pakcik he met last weekend back in Perlis. The uncle was telling how hard his life was to raise 2 kids. He was poor but he persistently and patiently worked on his paddy field. Sabar, bersyukur, ikhlas were the key words.

I don't want to brag but I also have been patient, sincere in my job and grateful for what Allah SWT has given me...for 15 years. 

Problem with my mindset

I said my problem is my mindset which stopped me from moving out from my current job. Fear of the unknown, whether I can perform well. I also used to dislike challenges whereas challenges are good. I quote Jim Rohn's 'don't wish for things to get easier, wish you were better'. 

I want to accomplish something

At this age now, I don't think to find another job would be a good move. I think it's not about the job, it's about I wanting to venture into something else. I said to my hubby, I feel like I want to accomplish something...yes! that is my why. I think I have done something great in my job but....I dunno how to shout about it.

So what do I want to do?

The problem is I have not found what I want to do hence I'm still on the job. That's the only thing that stopping me from pursuing something else.

My husband is a realist. Sometimes it's good to have a talk with him to challenge me who is somewhat optimistic and emotional. We can balance out the pro and cons.

How do I want to write my story?

In the end, I said to him the uncle have a story to tell 'Pakcik dulu miskin dan berusaha untuk menyara dan menyekolahkan anak dengan bersabar dan ikhlas dalam pekerjaan'...

so how do I want to write my story?

Motivation and personal goals

Motivation...motivation to quit my job...

Quotes from Denzel Washington

Make sure you have something to fall forward to, not fall back on

It will be frightening but rewarding

Ease is a greater threat to progress than hardship

Without commitment, you'll never start

Without consistency, you 'll never finish

It's not easy, if it were easy.....

If you hang around a barber shop long enough, eventually you'll get a haircut. You will catch a break....

Dream without goals are just dreams, and ultimately fuel disappointment

Have dreams but also have goals...life goals, yearly goals, monthly goals

Don't confuse movement with progress.....Just because you're doing a lot more, do not mean you are getting a lot more done

In order to achieve goals, must apply discipline and consistency. You have to work at it....you have to plan every day

Hard work works. Working really hard is what successful people do

What are you going to do with what you have? It's not about how much you have, it's what you do with what you have...We all have different talents

The most selfish thing to do is helping others...why it's selfish? Because the gratification the good feeling that you get when helping others...

You only live once...do what you passionate about

Don't just aspire to make a living, aspire to make a difference

Hari ini dalam sejarah (ke 3)!

Hari ni first time aku akan attend syndication ke Board of Directors (BoD) sebab ganti boss aku kena Covid. Aku catat sini sebab aku macam nak track mini achievements and practices done in terms of improving communication and presentation skills. 

 Alhamdulillah seperti ada perubahan sejak aku dah rajin baca Al-Quran. Aku dah tak nervous ya amat macam selalu. Sikit-sikit tu biasa la. Kalau dulu, mau seminggu pikir pasal presentation sampai mengganggu tidur. Fokus sangat kat presentation sampai keje pun ada lambat sikit buat. Sekarang mindset aku dah berubah...ini semua hal dunia. Buat saja, bergantung harap la kepada Allah SWT supaya semua berjalan lancar. Kalau orang marah, iya kan saja tapi kalau kita ada point nak cakap, cakap dan jangan simpan. Orang nak terima tak terima belakang kira. Kalau tak OK, Allah SWT nak bagi pengajaran supaya kita improve. 

Yang penting, aku kena up saham akhirat kalau nak masuk syurga. Baca doa banyak-banyak supaya orang paham apa kita cakap, orang nasihat bukan marah dan aku akan dapat sesuatu daripada pengalaman tersebut. Betul la orang kata. Dekat kan diri dengan Allah SWT. Allah itu Maha Mendengar dan Maha Pengasih. Ya Allah, Kau permudahkan urusan ku harini, lancarkan lidah dan minda ku, sesungguhnya Engkau Penciptaku....Allahuakbar!

The experience

It was a syndication session with En Nizam ANIMONSTA. My CEO yang banyak cakap, aku tambah sikit-sikit je...haha! Takpalah, pengalaman tu yang mahal. 

Buttons they have received

Lepas syndication, En Nizam bawak tour office dia...best, vibe orang muda dan modern. Siap bagi momentos lagi. Balik citer kat anak, excited dia dengar....

Thank you very much ANIMONSTA!

Rezeki berjumpa dengan guru sekolah menengah

Hari ini dalam sejarah… Actually hari Sabtu 23hb aritu..Jumpa 2 of my teachers in secondary school and this is my story....

Cikgu Netball - Puan Nor Zamani (she is the Ketua Pengarah Pelajaran Malaysia 2022 but retiring in July 2022)

Ada majlis penyampaian hadiah kat SGS hari Sabtu for SPM 2021 who scored 9A/8A. Jasmin is one of the recipients. Originally, memang plan nak attend la. Sekali Jasmin dapat wassap kata dia dapat interview biasiswa PNB on the same day. So dia tak dapat datang and mintak kakak dia jadi wakil. So plan sekarang dah tukar, Abah antar Jasmin pegi interview…aku pegi SGS dengan Irdina.

Kena pegi awal sebab event start kul 9.00 pagi. Tapi Irdina baru nak masuk tido masa aku bangun pukul 4.30 pagi. So aku cadangkan bawak Kasyif instead of Irdina. Boleh bagi some motivation jugak kat dia.

Memula memang nak suh Kasyif wakilkan Jasmin, tapi bila pikir sume pompuan kesian pulak. Sectretariat dah siap-siap asingkan award recipient. Mesti dia tak selesa duduk dikelilingi perempuan. Nampaknya aku jugak la yang kena naik pentas.

So aku kena duduk dengan students SPM yang lain. Allah nak bagi rezeki, seat aku memang kat hujung kat belah lorong red carpet laluan VIP masuk. So aku duduk la. Bila VIP masuk, ntah kenapa aku dapat bertentang mata dengan Puan Zamani. She smiled at me. I felt excitement somehow when got to meet someone from my past....

I already knew Puan Zamani is the VIP but I’ve not given any thought to approach her on that day. I looked up to Puan Zamani very much until today. She’s nice but strict makes me remember her dearly. Perasaan aku masa tu rasa nak sangat tegur Puan Zamani...

Then dada..dada.da…the ceremony went on…I was hoping Puan Zamani would be presenting the awards for SPM 2021 so I could say something to her but it was another VIP.  Kalau ikutkan 'aku yang dulu', I would have said 'takde rezeki'. Tapi aku rasa macam Allah SWT melorongkan aku supaya tegur Puan Zamani: 

• aku yang jadi wakil instead of Irdina or Kasyif
• dapat duduk tepi tempat VIP lalu, 
• Puan Zamani bertentang mata dengan aku

Aku yang sekarang

Aku still rasa macam nak tegur dia jugak tapi tak tahu bila masanya yang sesuai yang aku boleh tegur. Then aku nekad. Aku plan bila ceremony dah abis, aku akan tegur dia bila dia lalu sebelah aku masa nak keluar. Nervous jugak and I was confused on how to address her. Datuk ke, Puan ke, Cikgu ke….I have so much to say to her….apa yang aku ingat dia ajar. Shoot 100 kali before training….dapat makan KFC setiap kali jadi johan sbb dia belanja…arghh! Panjang citer ni. Boleh ke nak cakap ni? Mana tahu ada orang akan stop aku sbb ganggu majlis.

Then majlis pun tamat. Puan Zamani pun lead lalu red carpet untuk keluar. Aku terus panggil ‘Puan Zamani!’ and she stopped. Aku cakap ‘Dulu Puan ajar saya netball kat TKC’ and she was so surprised! I wished I could continue but I just wished her ‘terima kasih dan selamat bersara’…

I still remember her facial expression. Macam dia nak cakap lagi tapi sbb dah ada scheduled arrangement kot. I think she said ‘Ya Allah!’ muka dia macam tak sangka ada anak murid netball dia kat dalam dewan tu. Then I said ‘nanti kita amik gambar ya’ and she said ‘Sure!’ I loved it so much that made me want to wait and take a pic with her. 

Allah SWT bagi rezeki lagi, aku terserempak pulak dengan Cikgu Ahmad Bidin sementara tunggu Puan Zamani di bilik Pengetua.

Pic shared by Fini. Aku tak sempat bergambar 
dengan dia..sob2

Cikgu Maths: Cikgu Ahmad Bidin (viral masa dia bersara sebab dapat hadiah kereta daripada Kurshians)

Masa tu Puan Zamani dah masuk bilik Pengetua, pastu ada makan-makan kot sebab pengetua2 dari sekolah lain ada datang untuk bid dia farewell. Tiber Cikgu Ahmad Bidin lalu sebelah aku. Kalau 'aku yang dulu, aku malu nak tegur sebab tahu dia bukan ingat aku sebab aku low profile.

Aku yang sekarang

Aku betul-betul tak sangka dapat jumpa Cikgu Ahmad! Aku tegur dia. Kalau sebelum ni mungkin aku buat diam je sebab aku tahu aku tak significant. Bila En Ahmad tanya aku sapa, aku kata ‘Cikgu tak kenal kot, saya low profile’ kuang3x….pastu dia tanya ‘Ada buat jahat dengan saya tak?’…terkejut aku dapat soklan camtu... Aku terpaksa mengaku ‘ada…yang pernah sembunyikan motor cikgu’....then he replied ‘Ooooo, ni yang group tu ek’...I was on high, I didn't know why. I even shared the moment to my batch group wassap. The old me don't do all these things. Aku tanya dia apa dia buat after bersara and in the end, aku pun ucap terima kasih dengan Cikgu Ahmad Bid,...

Bila En Ahmad sergah 'ada buat jahat dengan saya  tak?'...

Syukur ke hadrat Allah SWT

Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for this lovely feeling…dapat jumpa 2 guru yang sememangnya aku teringin nak jumpa untuk ucapkan terima kasih. Semoga Allah membalas jasa-jasa mereka yang tak pernah lelah mengajar aku. Ampunkan lah dosa-dosa mereka, masukkan lah mereka ke syurga FirdausMu. Rahmati dan berkati lah hidup mereka Ya Allah!

Terima kasih Allah kerana telah melorongkan peluang ini. Hari ini banyak memberi pengajaran kepada aku

·       Perasan teruja bila berjumpa dengan orang-orang dari masa lalu ku. Peristiwa ini mengingatkan aku kembali tentang potensi diri. Aku boleh kalau aku yang nak. You've been excellent in your past but you tend to keep it to yourself and quiet when I'm an adult...be yourself...you are not that bad...

Get out of your comfort zone!

Mei dah selamat berlalu, aku pun dah selamat raya sebulan. Mei tu bulan raya Syawal kan, seronok makan dan jalan-jalan la. I did a few things worth mentioning. Nanti aku kabor ya...

Joining high school reunion

Hari ni nak cerita how I was contemplating whether to join my school reunion or not. Nak jawab survey form je pun. Aku jawab juga in the end bila aku teringat, Allah kata sambungkan siratulrahim, buat baik etc. So aku jawab survey tu dengan jujur, tak mau jadi committee tapi ok je kalau nak assist.

Then aku pikir balik, apsal masa reunion dulu tu susah benor aku nak join. Malas nak mingle alasannya. Tapi if I dig myself deeper, sebenarnya reason aku common je. The common reason people don't want to go to reunion...segan dengan member. Segan sume la...depa berjaya, aku tak. Depa kurus, aku tak. Depa glamer, aku tak. Depa kaya, aku tak. All these insecurities standard la cara pikir  masa aku muda-muda dulu. Bila dah matang ni, dah ingat akhirat so lain dah cara pikir tu.

Jalinkan balik persahabatan (kalau masih ada). Kalau takda, at least dapat jumpa member2 lama. Jumpa tang tu je la...lepas tu hang ingat depa akan contact ko ke....tak kot. Masing2 kan dah ada haluan masing-masing. So why worry, just go and have fun!

I'm doing this for myself, to do things that is outside my comfort zone. Go and meet people and at least I've got something to write about.

Other benefits include as a target to lose weight. Event tentative in Oct-Nov. Berat aku sekarang ni kira paling berat la, 76kg. Perut geleber abis.

So I'm part of the team for venue and catering lead by Airin. Tadi aku ada call la 2 venue: Sekebun Bunga (Batang Kali) dengan The Hidden Valley (Kajang) for quotation. Try call Bora Ombak tak angkat-angkat.

Try cari event hall kat Shah Alam, belum jumpa pulak.

Tengok Airin dok post villa from Airbnb. Dia nak cam rumah/villa kot which to me OK jugak. Santai sikit. Event hall cam formal kan...pastu kita dah tahu suasana dia camna.

Sekebun Bunga tu cute nama dia tapi jauh la ke Batang Kali sana, dalam 2 jam naik kereta ok. Dia memang tulis boleh fit 100 pax for event. Dalam hutan, ada sungai...sapa suka outdoor mesti suka. Memang takda catering so kena arrange sendiri. Aku pikir kalau jauh gini, kita sediakan bas la untuk attendees...haha! Baru rasa cam zaman sekolah dulu! Most probably tak amik yang ni kot, tengok la caner.

The Hidden Valley kat Sungai Ramal jek, dekat la pulak. Bagus jugak. Senang nak pi. Aku pernah pegi wedding kat situ. Modern la villa dia. Ada provide buggy sebab parking kat tanah lot lain.

Nanti aku update lagi yek....

Financial Planning

 Weekend was quite busy. Actually productive! Pagi tu aku ada register free class 'Newbie Saham Mastery Online' by Tuan Nizam Malek. Ok jugak sebab memang betul-betul basic, memang praktikal. Ajar cara baca app dengan screener. Pastu dia ada paid online class for RM700. Available for 6 months, belajar ikut masa sendiri. Rasa macam nak amik, cuma belum buat tindakan

That free class start kul 8.30 - 11.30. Aku rasa content dia betul-betul start kul 9.00. Habis lambat, dalam kul 12.45. Aku kat Mat Ayam Kampung Seksyen 7 masa tu, tengah lunch before amik my daughter Jasmin kat SGS, Seremban. Dia balik for good tapi SPM tak abis lagi sebab dia kena COVID haritu.

So after lunch, pegi amik dia. Sampai around 1.30pm. Lepas angkat barang sume, plan nak singgah rumah my brother kat Jasin. Sampai Jasin dalam pukul 3.30pm and kebetulan family my sis in law ada sekali. Aku rasa bertuah/ rezeki aku dapat jumpa mak and ayah dia sebab dah lama tak jumpa. Umur mereka dah masuk 80an, tak secergas dulu....gitu la manusia. Nanti giliran aku pula....Rupanya dioghang ada buat makan-makan, again rezeki kami dapat merasa air tangan mereka. 

Then bertolak ke Batu Pahat pula around 7.00pm. Sampai Batu Pahat dalam pukul 9.30pm. Borak-borak sampai pukul 12.00. Esoknya mak aku ajak settlekan cukai tanah kat Bangunan Gunasama. Pastu beli Nasi Baryani Mat Shah yg femes kat Batu Pahat. Beratur dalam 1 jam juga la, tapi memang takda rezeki nak dapat kambing. Kitoghang memang dah sampai depan kaunter nak order, alih-alih dioghang kata kambing dah abis....Adeh! So kami beli lauk ayam saja 9 bungkus, yang lauk kambing beli kat orang lain.

Pastu pegi Majlis Daerah dekat Dataran Batu Pahat, dapatkan borang untuk update nama pemilik Taman Makmur daripada nama arwah ayah kepada nama aku. Kena ada supporting document tapi tak bawak, so bawa balik borang tu dulu, hantar kemudian. Balik dah pukul 11.30, makan lunch nasi baryani terus sebab aku nak bertolak dalam pukul 2.00 ptg sebab nak jumpa adik aku lagi satu kat Ayer Hitam.

Why tajuk Financial Planning? Sebab main objective nak bantu adik aku yg Ayer Hitam tu pasal kewangan dia. Dia banyak dah buat silap, memandai-mandai, meminjam-minjam, janji manis, terjebak...semua lah...sepatutnya dengan gaji yang dia dapat tu, bulanan dia selesa tapi...hai, ntah la. Nak marah-marah dah tak guna. So aku insist nak jumpa dia, tolong apa yang boleh. Bukan bagi dia duit untuk selesaikan masalah, aku pun tengah berjimat sebab nak bersara awal. Aku bantu dia kirakan perbelanjaan dia guna Excel. Alhamdulillah, dia suh forward Excel tu untuk discuss dengan wife dia. 

These are the things I want to focus on, not my work anymore....help people, help others, help my children, help myself....

And lastly, bertolak balik dari Ayer Hitam dalam pukul 7.00pm, straight nak gi amik Dina kat Sunway. Sampai Sunway dalam pukul 12.00 tengah malam sebab PLUS jem. Dina lepak kat tempat kawan dia kat Sunway lepas balik dari program kat Perak. Kawan dia tu sama-sama pegi Perak.

9 things achieved within the weekend. That was a lot!