With or Without Bibik?

No doubt my bibik gives excellent service. Liked and loved by my families because she's really hardworking and knows how to cook. Life's a bliss if she's around as she does everything and you can goyang kaki. So when she decide to go home for good, my parents tried to make her change her mind. My parents in law kept on saying how good she is. Yes, I've no doubt about that.

Life has been made easier since she worked with me. She does everything from A to Z. I thank Allah SWT for the rezeki because it's like you need the luck to obtain a good maid.

However, I don't want my kids to be like me. I want my kids to be independent and able to do house chores without complaining. I want to raise them myself because if I have bibik, I tend to leave everything to her including cooking for the family. Personally, i think it is because I don't know how to give orders or I don't like to give orders (thus need a bibik because I can't give orders to my kids and husband to help me around the house). Apart from I'm not good at housework because I myself had bibik around during my childhood.

I want to teach. I want to nurture. I want to be responsible for my kids. I want to cook for my kids. Because I believe that would be the correct way to show how much I love them. I've accepted that things might not be as easy as I would think but I will always turn to Allah SWT to give me strength to carry on. I need to persevere. This would be my labour of love for the family. It will take time and I would want to give up, but please don't. Because my patience and perseverance will tie the family together.

I don't want to prove anything to anyone. Just to myself that this is actually the life that I want....