Coping as working mum

Since my helper fell sick 2 weeks ago, we've been doing the house chores by ourselves. Everyone was giving a helping hand although most of the time we forgot we need to do things ourselves.

House chores
I've been getting up at 4.30am to sweep, mop and cook for lunch. Surprisingly, I don't find this a burden and sometimes I'm enjoying it. I feel satisfied seeing my house cleaned and get to cook for my kids. I get a bit pressured though when I haven't shower as the clock shows 7.30am.
 
Sometimes I get home around 7.00pm tired yet there are still things I need to do such as dry the plates, sorting folded clothes. I could get a bit tense looking at my messy house but I told myself to just let it go. Do not force myself, I can get it done tomorrow. There's no point getting angry unnecessarily. I will spoil the mood of my kids and husband.

The kids
Irdina helps to dry the laundry, Jasmin helps to sweep her bedroom and irons her own school uniform. Abang, well... he still think bibik is around so sometimes he can be demanding. Sometimes he helps too by putting his towel to the rack and dirty clothes to the right place.
 
Things to ponder
I found that I've changed my thinking process thus make me a more positive person in facing current situation. I'm comparing myself to how I was when I wanted to get a maid 7 years ago.

1. Delegate chores. I can't do everything and expect others to do it for me. I need a helping hand (i.e cleaner) to do things like clean the bathroom, porch, crook and corners, ironing.
2. Take less time on planning. It's all in the action. Get things done!
3. Don't burden myself as I will grunt and feel dissatisfied thinking I'm doing it all alone. Just do what I can sincerely because all these count as my deeds towards my husband and family. Grunting will only make everything I've done goes to waste.
4. Reward myself after working hard looking after the house. I can go for manicure,pedicure, spa, facial and slimming treatment without guilt!
5. Don't expect too much from my husband and kids. It's a learning process and we need time to adapt. Make this a fun learning experience for everyone.

I used to feel dissatisfied thinking my husband is not helping out with the chores. Now I understand why by accepting him the way he is.

I deeply believe that Allah SWT is showing a glimpse of our life without our maid right now. This is our opportunity to correct and instill good habit and behaviour in our kids. May Allah SWT grant us the will and patience to achieve this.

I hope the enthusiasm lasts and does not wear off!

Challenging September

So many things happened in one shot in Sept....

1st, my maid's work permit has expired and I had to take EL on Friday 4th. Then suddenly on Saturday, her left leg hurt and couldn't do anything. I've been running around between chores and work and I'm hanging on till today.

Life was lightened up when my brother and parents came on 14th. My brother attended his degree convocation at PWTC and stayed overnight until 16th morning. I feel satisfied for being able to cook for them, although it was just rice porridge.

Then I received sad news from Batu Pahat that my beloved auntie passed away on 16th. We were at Mitsui Outlet Park, Sepang. Suddenly I shed tears because I was thinking about my dad. He's 71 now. Will I be able to be beside him when his time comes? At that moment, everything seems meaningless....My life, my job, my goals.... All I want is spending time with my dad.

Is this a sign?

Just last 2 weeks, my bibik informed me her intention to go back to Indonesia for good next year.

And last Thursday, we just noticed her work permit has expired 20 days ago. We had to take EL to settle this matter the immigration called as 'overstay'. We read many versions of the procedures, some said it was straight forward, some said their maids had a one night stay at the lock up (scary!), some said we need to bring the maid as well to the immigration, some said we don't have to.

Since this is like a sudden, my husband went to the immigration with bibik while I had to stay home to make sure everything at home was in order.

Random cooking

What I've cooked this year. Most of them I did during Ramadan:

Making use of the muffin tin

Broccoli nuggets

Mini bread pudding

Roti John

Roti John on the plate

Stuffed Mushroom, before bake

Stuffed Mushroom, after bake.

Making use of Toblerone chocolates, souvenirs my husband bought in UK.

Melted white choc to cover chocolate pop cake

Pop cakes! Looks colorful!

However, it didn't last long. My cakes disintegrate!

Making use of tortilla wrap as 'cups'

With fresh seafood as fillings

Communication

I think I have communication issues with my husband. I get offensive when he asks questions about the kids and family. I feel offended because I feel as if he's mocking my effort in making my children as my life priority. Or am I being paranoid? Maybe he just wanted to know...


 I need to be able to express myself with no hurt feelings, assumptions and clear from emotional reaction. I need to be able to communicate to my own husband...

Lutfi at kindergarten

Lutfi has been to IQ Kindies, Bangi for 1.5 months now. So far, it hasn't been  difficult to deal with him in the morning. There are times he was not in the mood. Luckily there's a convenience store opposite the building so sometimes I use that to get him to agree getting into the car.

I'm quite pleased so far. Lutfi doesn't seem to resist getting into the classroom. I guess the toys does help to attract the kids to remain interested.

So far the activities look fun to me so spot on! Two days ago, they made gooey slime which later turn into clay. We saw that activity when we attended Kiddo Science, Bangi open day in June, hands on science classes for primary and secondary kids. It's the same activity but maybe, the way things are explained to the kids are different. More science term for the older kids, more fun and play for the kindies! My point is this kind of activity is something like 'The Backyard Science', a children's program from Australia which I find interesting and my kids love to watch the program.

The day she told she's leaving for good

My maid told me on Saturday 22 Aug morning that she's planning to go home for good next year. My reaction? Poker face...

Reaction
Didn't know how to react... Should I be saying 'Alamak! Kenapa bibik nak balik?' or "Oh! Ye ke? Kenapa?' Instead, I didn't say anything. Just 'hmm...ok'

Seriously, I didn't know how to react. I've been pondering how's life without a maid now that my kids are grown up. The ideal picture would be us helping each other out on chores. Now that she's leaving, I get to teach my kids myself.

Keeping things in order
It's not that I don't like her. She has done a lot for our home and I can never do things as efficient, as detailed and persistent as she has.  Our home is in order because of her.

So many things were in my head... keep her, let her leave, get another, the kids, my work, husband's support, easy life, laundry, cleanliness, balik kampung....Oh, definitely my mother and mother in law will miss her because she's good at helping out in the kitchen.

Then, came the question whether I'm able to assist my mother and mother in law in cooking? Cooking... the thing I haven't done in ages since.. well, since I know my maid likes to cook. Suddenly, all seems exhausting!

The ironing, washing, sweeping, mopping....

Need to figure out where shall the kids stay while transitting between schools....

Need to be very helpful in the kitchen

Arghh....

Be strong
Then I heard this saying 'Don't ask for an easy life'. Ask for a strong heart and mind'....

True.... No one says it's going to be easy.... Certain things have to change.... For the better. For the kids....