How to deal with tantrum?

My 2nd daughter is sweet and funny.... She knows how to act silly to make people laugh. She's obedient and at the stage where she likes to dress up for role play. But of course, kids don't behave well all the time. She's a bit manja though, 'asyik nak dukung' although she's nearly 5. And this morning was one of those not so cheerful days....

Between us, i'm the one with the strict approach (loud and naik tangan) and my hubby is the soft approach type. Thus of course, the kids prefer their dad than me in time of behavioural crisis. They won't answer me whenever i raise my voice but run to their dad instead.

So this morning, Jasmin threw a tantrum by not wanting to get up and go to school. She cried on top of her lungs and spitting as if she wanted to throw up. My husband assumed she behaved that way due to lack of sleep. Being me, i think she just want to be difficult (so parents will succumb to their demands). She has been doing that too often now and i should not tolerate that behaviour. My husband tried to calm her down and obviously it didn't work and he left her at her room alone. She didn't stop and we just ignored her until her crying subsided. After about 20 min, she slowed down on crying and said "mama jahat, mama jahat". I could understand that because i raised my voice and i was the one who closed the door behind her when my husband left her in her room.

I tried to think of a way how to tell her that her behaviour is not acceptable. The dilemma is whether she can understand what i'm trying to say. In the end when her father managed to console her, i made truce with my daughter by saying 'i'm sorry' because i hit her on the back when she was spitting. We shook hands and i explained to her that her tantrum early in the morning is not acceptable. I said that she should say what she wants rather than screaming and crying and i said 'i know you're a good daughter' and hugged her.

From her looks, i think she still disagree with me. I think she is still angry at me because i mentioned her behaviour was not acceptable. We'll see how it goes.... I have to think how to teach her self control and introduce some dicipline and rules in the house.

Jasmin, I love you.....you're my flesh and blood and i want to raise you the right way so you can be at your best.......Ya Allah! Berikan aku petunjukMu....