Pinjam. Rezeki. Sedekah

Somebody was asking me to lend him money. He sounded desparate but from past records, the possibility of him not paying back is there. Coincidentally, I did have that much amount he asked for which I kept aside to save for my new handphone which I planned to buy in 2 months (my Iphone 3GS is damaged and currently I'm using a Samsung. He said he will pay back and I said to him 'Please, please pay me back'.

As a background, previously I thought I don't have that much to share. I donate when I feel I have extra. I seldom treat my friends or family, which I do only on special occasion e.g when I get promoted or bonuses. Unlike some people who treats whenever they have or don't have extra. I used to think they make more than I do while my pay was only enough to make ends meet and settle my credit card.
I seldom go on a shopping spree but I don't mind spending on brand and quality. Due to that, I'm willing to save and buy nothing this month so I can get what I want next month. My monthly pay is divided into savings and zakat, car loan, contribution for the household and parents, credit card and monthly maintenance e.g lunch at work and fuel. Most of the time I had to scheme on fuel and lunch because the balance would be just enough and at the same time I thought I should leave it there in the account in case of emergency.
What's lingering in my mind is if the extra money that I save to pay someone else was borrowed by someone else who promise to pay back (which I doubt he will because he has poor cash management), should I ask him to pay back or should I just let it go?

Don't you always heard that we need to have savings  at least 3 months salary for emergency. And save for the things that you want instead of buying on credit card. I followed that advice and now I'm a bit confused on how to incorporate that into the concept of 'rezeki' and 'sedekah'.

I have learnt that when I don't get what I want there and then, it's just not my rezeki. So maybe in this situation, it is just not my rezeki to pay my own debt?

At the moment I'm writing this, I feel relieved of letting go the borrowed money. It wasn't the case yesterday when I was thinking on how to get the money back, because I too owe someone else.

The dilemma now is should I or should I not call him up asking him to pay back when secretly I feel like I'm not gonna get my money?

Another thought is, should I lent him money in future if I know he's not gonna pay? I don't know. Currently I feel like only giving him the amount that I'm comfortable with so I don'thave to worry whether I'll get it back. I'll give it as sedekah.


After reading a book 'Mudahnya Menjemput Rezeki' by Fathuri Salehuddin, I'm learning to accept this situation as this:

1. If he doesn't pay, then it is not my rezeki to pay my own debt. It is his and insyaallah I will get something in return from Allah SWT if I redha.
2. If he pays, then it's good for him and me and the person who I owe. Berkatilah kehidupan kami, Ya Allah.
3. Just let this go, it's only money. What I should be concern about is keredhaan Allah SWT.

I also want to treat/donate as often as I can believing not all that I earn is all my rezeki but some are the rezeki of others...


Ya Allah, aku bersyukur ke hadratMu di atas pencerahan ini. Semoga aku lebih tabah dan redha menjalani kehidupan dengan bimbinganMu, Ya Allah......

Getting motivated again

It's been a month since the Weight Loss Challenge ended on 5 Feb. I was very lenient last month but now I need to focus. The target is 5kg per month so by end of March, I should lose 15kg. Weight loss to date is 6.1kg (8.9kg to go). I printed the 'Daily Diet Watch' sheet (devised by myself) to track what I eat and the changes in weight from one day to the next.


Colleagues also noticed the weight loss. I could fit in most of old clothes although still need to work out the tummy area. Need to buy new clothes too to boost the motivation further.

Looking back, I thank Allah for giving me the strength to strive. I remembered thinking 'I could never fit in my old clothes and I need to donate them'. Need to take pictures so I will always remember this feeling of joy. I feel like I have accomplished something and at the same time I want to share with others, really.

I shall pray hard and work hard to ensure my dream with Herbalife will come true. What are my dreams? Financial freedom is the key word and the detailed list is still in progress. First I need to focus on gaining enough volume points to qualify as a Supervisor. I give myself 2013-2014 (2 years).
Insyallah...Aminnn...

Good for reading Weight Watchers
For motivational weight loss quotes here

My first customer!

I'm so EXCITED! I have my first customer today! He wanted the 2ltr polycarbonate water bottle. So I checked the price on the website, informed him the price and he gave a nod. I just could not believe it!

Seem like I'm over excited but hey, you just don't know how insecure I am and how I don't believe in myself in doing direct marketing (I try not to use MLM word). I regard this as a good sign that I should do my best in promoting the brand. I do too want to help other people to start living healthy and share what I know.

Since he is my first customer, I decided to give him personal discount. Semoga dimurahkan rezeki (me and him) and segala urusan dipermudahkan. Aminnnnn....

Time. Dicipline. Care. Actions. Ipad

I took the Ipad to my office. Jasmin was sitting in front of the bathroom wrapped in towel with Ipad on the side watching her favourite cooking videos (I think its clips from Japan showing miniature cooking 'toys' using stuffs that look like real food). It was 7.40am.

My goal this year is to reach my office earlier if not on the dot 8.30am. Usually we should leave by 7.45am. I tried not to shout and assisted her to get dressed. Though I did say that she had to skip breakfast as we were behind time. Instead, she could drink Milo or eat a slice of bread in the car on the way to her school.

She didn't resist when I took her by her hands to go downstairs. She also took books as if she wanted to go to school. But she was doing it too slowly so I asked her to hurry up (politely stressing that we are late and I tried not to shout). I left her while she was packing and saw her sitting quitely when I came back. Now she was being difficult and I could not tolerate that since we definitely were late. I didn't say anything, so many things in my head and could not think how should I deal with the situation. Finally, I asked her whether she wants to go to school because her behaviour showed otherwise. I decided at that point that I need to teach/educate my kids about timeliness. At that point I thought it was time to sanction the Ipad and teach them some serious stuff. So I just left Jasmin without a word, took the Ipad on the table and left.

So many thoughts in my head when I drove to work. Whether what I did was wrong and wonder why I am being so sensitive about time. My respect for Japanese people on punctuality and surah Al Asr may be the cause apart from the drill from my parents since I was at school.

Back to Jasmin, was I being too strict? What should I have done? Some people can do some slow talk but I was late, I didn't have the time! If the clock showed 7.30 or 7.35, I might followed her pace...

Why did I take the Ipad? I just had to. Sometimes the kids just won't budge when Ipad is in their hands. Homework, solat, chores.... They even fight with each other. Did I want to teach them a lesson? Or did I just want to get to Jasmin?

Do I think what I did was right? I don't know.....

Can by taking the Ipad away change into a positive environment that I want? Personally I think 'yes' but I need to think creatively how to turn 'Ipad confiscated' into 'Mama see, I'm ready for school now. Can I have the Ipad back?

What message do I want to convey to the kids with regard to my action?

What might happen now that I have confiscated the Ipad?

• Nothing changed if I don't explain to my kids why I took the Ipad. They don't get it why I took it
• They are closer to their father than me because I do all these diciplinary stuff seriously instead of doing the slow talk.

What is my next step to teach them a lesson in abiding by the rules/time?

I have this feeling that my husband is also not satisfied with me about spending time with the kids. I appeared not caring for the children enough. Last night I went to HOM.

The new way of thinking that I have adopted now are:

1. These are my kids. If they don't do OK, it is because I don't teach them how to be OK. They are the product of my behaviour at home.
2. I'm taking responsibilities. I don't want to be blame for not spending enough time with the kids.
3. This is my way of dicipline. Advise me if I should do otherwise.

I will teach them a lesson. Ask them to do a timetable if they want the Ipad back.

Post WLC

It's been 22 days i.e 3 weeks after the Weight Loss Challenge. I've been quite lenient in terms of food choice although still following the right portions. Still trying not to snack although sometimes I couldn't resist. I didn't take Herbalife for a week as I finished my stock while waiting for my 2k order to arrive. I only weigh myself in the morning and still go to the gym twice a week.

My weight now is 66.9 kg. That is 2.6 kg less from WLC weight of 69.5kg. That's about 1.3kg per week or 0.8kg per week if I want to count in the 1 "without Herbalife" week.

Yeay! Good job! I still haven't rewarded myself. My husband has by giving me RM1,500 cash! Thank you Abah! I really appreciate it! Muah! Muah!

The 1st step

Yesterday I attended my first Success Training Seminar STS at IOI Marriot Putrajaya. Program was from 10.30am to 4.30pm. Ticket was RM30 (early bird price). I went there alone to witness myself what Herbalife gathering is all about as I didn't know who else want to accompany me as this was an 'MLM event'.
Before STS
My expectation I guess very much like everyone else who are still not convinced i.e skeptical with MLM. "Must be like other MLM where they try to lure you with all the success stories, millions made etc".The funny thing is I've never attended any other MLM gathering but through other people's experience. And there I was observing the attendees, carrying or wearing Herbalife merchandise enthusiastically clapping and singing to "You're simply the best" by Tina Turner. I even thought I would leave early expecting I would be bored.

After STS
I stayed until the end. That's a good sign. I jotted down notes so I guess I gained something from the event. I know what my next target although still not sure whether I can achieve it. Final conclusion, yes, if you want to start with Herbalife it doesn't hurt to go to this event. If you're in between, you might or might not join the boat depending on your confidence level.

In conclusion, yeah... Why not.... I got to be with different set of people with different way of thinking. One 1st experience gained and all the best with my Herbalife journey!

Herbalife progress_Finale

Week 4_Finale
2 Feb 2013

Guess what....I did not attend the finale! I couldn't believe myself. After all the sacrifices.... What can I say? Well, Allah SWT knows better and things happen for a reason....

My 'coach' did update me though; the winner lost a whopping 14kg! Wow!
2nd prize = 11kg, 3rd price = 10kg. The 4th prize winner was a lady with loss of 7kg

Okay, the weight I lost was not even close so I didn't achieve my goal. Was I disappointed? Yes, for not going + not winning. However, I am now 5kg lighter! Yeay!

My overall achievement is
Weight Loss = 5kg (target 6kg)   % Loss = 6.7% (target 8%)

Looking back, I should be proud of myself. I tried in 2012 and only managed to lose about 3.5kg within 6 months (and later gained back again).... Still to early to see whether I'll gain back the 5kg...I hope not....

So what's next? My 'coach' ask me to take a 3-4 mths package costing around RM2.5k to get me to my ideal weight (about 15kg loss) The 2.5k include a one time registration fee of RM98. Should I take it or not? To me, anything that gets more than 1k will need serious thinking. When I do some thinking, I will need some time. Sometimes I wonder how can people think quickly within split second and make a decision. The cost, my commitment for 3 months, can I really do it, business opportunity.... I've been thinking about the last point lately but just too scared of the unknown. I decided to do serious thinking on Monday and just splurge for the weekend after the 4 week Weight Loss Challenge. My splurges were:

1. Good lunch at Littlte White Cafe (Roast Chicken + Cranberry juice + Bread Pudding)
2. 1/2 portion white rice + fried egg + kicap + tomato sauce for dinner
3. Small portion of nasi lemak for Sunday snack
4. 1/2 portion curry pasta + Crispy popia for Sunday lunch @ Alamanda
5. Bought 2 belts at RM51 (which I thought can be paired with my new blouse but I don't think they work now)
6. Keropok + Ubi + sambal + mee sup + carbonated drink for snack
7. Small portion of nasi lemak for dinner

Looking back at these...Wow! I really binged, didn't I..... And this morning was my last F1 breakfast...

Hokey, need to get back to the game and my weight this morning is 70kg.