At this moment, I feel rather energetic. I feel like doing work! I don't know where the energy comes from. Is it from the 'jamu' that I take every morning since confinement? Is it from better food choices in my effort of losing weight? Is it because of anticipation going on a break? Is it because it's nearly end of year? Is it because I'm not stressed to prepare the kids for school?
I don't know but I like this feeling. I've lost it since I got pregnant this year. Since my manager became my CFO. Since I wasn't sure what my new role & tasks are. Since I added my school friends in FB. Since I know others who left the company earn more than me (and they are younger). Since new faces in the company also earn 3-4 times more (and they are younger/same age as me). Since I felt some tasks are impossible. I don't know and I I lost the motivation and confidence to live happy.
All this things that make me feel so down and demotivated, if I think too much about them will only worsen the feeling. Thus worsen the energy level and motivation. And now looking back, I believe my pregnancy is a blessing in disguise. With the 2 months maternity leave, I was able to do some thinking. I had the time to try and understand where my life at the moment and where I want it to be. Remembering what I have and I have not done, what I should have and shouldn't have done.
It is normal that our emo, confidence, motivation goes up and down. Everyone goes through the same thing regardless who they are. The important part is how fast we pick ourselves up when life hit the low. And it takes practice to be fast and move to the next chapter. This is actually how people change for the better...
And once we have master one positive attitude, we should try to master another one.
So I feel I have now manage to pick myself up during emotion turmoils quicker than before. I just need to look ahead and think about my kids and afterlife. I feel grateful with what I have and I understand, to want more is to strive more out of comfort zone.
I should be happy for other people's happiness, I should provide encouragement to my children as they need to hear them. I should think positive and help others when they feel negative. I should not listen to negative remarks if it will only dampen my spirit. Be confident but don't overdo it. Take care of your body and health. Strive for what you want and it doesn't necessarily mean money, wealth, big salary. If your want is expensive, start saving! It might take ages but once you get it, you will get to say "Finally!" and it will be you who is satisfied. Aim high but never forget your purpose towards Allah SWT. Thank you Allah for this wonderful feeling!
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