Letting go

I asked my husband about my watch after i did my Maghrib prayer yesterday. I gave it to him when i wanted to do my Asar prayer at Sunway Lagoon. We take turns to pray so I've always given him either my watch or my handbag because i fear i might forget or the stuff might get stolen if i bring them along in the praying room.

He answered he couldn't remember where he put it. "Oh! No!" i said to myself. "It's probably in the bag" was what i said to him.... Trying to calm myself down and not letting him to feel guilty.... The conversation ended there....

This morning, i finished getting dressed but couldn't complete the last ritual because of the missing watch. I carefully scout around in the bag i assumed my husband had put my watch in but it was empty.... What should i say to myself now?

I have to learn to let go...i have to learn to let go....

The watch was a b'day gift from my husband in 2001 so it has been with me for 8 years. What's the big deal about the watch (apart from watch is one thing that i can't live without):

1. 1st b'day gift as husband and wife

2. it's a Tissot thus my 1st expensive watch

3. the design is simple (so like my husband) but i feel it fits me so well

4. the thought that my husband managed to find a watch that i myself didn't expect i could love it so much

5. I feel my life's not complete when not wearing it. I thought having a clock on my handphone is enough to tell the time but it just don't feel the same.

So it is not just a watch to me. Although it's not expensive (compared to Tag Heuer), it was priceless to me... The memories of 8 years is within the watch and it has made me feel difficult to let it go....

My husband said he will go back to Sunway Lagoon to look for it.

I don't want to put high hopes... But i want my watch back!!!!....

Now i have the opportunity to buy a new watch which can be more expensive....But tears rolled down my eyes...

The only thought that soothed me is "luckily i only lost a watch. What if it was my car? Or my kids?"......

I have to learn to let go.... Learn to let go things dearest to you since those are only material stuff that you're not going to bring along with you at Akhirat later.....

Farewell dearest watch... Thank you for being there whenever i needed you. Thank you for the memories we've shared....Rest in peace wherever you are.... (Wow! i'm really attached to the watch!)

How to deal with tantrum?

My 2nd daughter is sweet and funny.... She knows how to act silly to make people laugh. She's obedient and at the stage where she likes to dress up for role play. But of course, kids don't behave well all the time. She's a bit manja though, 'asyik nak dukung' although she's nearly 5. And this morning was one of those not so cheerful days....

Between us, i'm the one with the strict approach (loud and naik tangan) and my hubby is the soft approach type. Thus of course, the kids prefer their dad than me in time of behavioural crisis. They won't answer me whenever i raise my voice but run to their dad instead.

So this morning, Jasmin threw a tantrum by not wanting to get up and go to school. She cried on top of her lungs and spitting as if she wanted to throw up. My husband assumed she behaved that way due to lack of sleep. Being me, i think she just want to be difficult (so parents will succumb to their demands). She has been doing that too often now and i should not tolerate that behaviour. My husband tried to calm her down and obviously it didn't work and he left her at her room alone. She didn't stop and we just ignored her until her crying subsided. After about 20 min, she slowed down on crying and said "mama jahat, mama jahat". I could understand that because i raised my voice and i was the one who closed the door behind her when my husband left her in her room.

I tried to think of a way how to tell her that her behaviour is not acceptable. The dilemma is whether she can understand what i'm trying to say. In the end when her father managed to console her, i made truce with my daughter by saying 'i'm sorry' because i hit her on the back when she was spitting. We shook hands and i explained to her that her tantrum early in the morning is not acceptable. I said that she should say what she wants rather than screaming and crying and i said 'i know you're a good daughter' and hugged her.

From her looks, i think she still disagree with me. I think she is still angry at me because i mentioned her behaviour was not acceptable. We'll see how it goes.... I have to think how to teach her self control and introduce some dicipline and rules in the house.

Jasmin, I love you.....you're my flesh and blood and i want to raise you the right way so you can be at your best.......Ya Allah! Berikan aku petunjukMu....

Friday blues

Went swimming with colleagues during lunch time. We went to Presint 11 which is nearer than Presint 16. No one was there, just us!....I guess because the community centre is rather new and not that close to the central Putrajaya. The pool is bigger with green mosaic (but looks blue in the pic). The set up is fantastic, you'll feel as if you are at a luxury resort or spa.

The best part was we were the only ones there. 6 of us, swimming (struggling to swim) like nobody's business. Really had fun and hope the place will stay discreet for a long time. We've been doing this activity for 4 weeks now but previous pool was at Presint 16. I hope it will be a regular activity. At least 1 recreational activity a week, as a start for a better and healthier lifestyle.

I'm planning to be excused before 5.30pm because the tiling people promised to meet me at my house for site visit and quotation (and he just called, he's already in front of my house!).

And we are going to Batu Pahat tonight..... my grandfather is not very well. He's rather weak but refuses to stay with his children. He lives alone and on Tuesday, he slipped and fainted in his house. Luckily a good neighbour noticed and suspected something was wrong when the house was not lit although it was already Maghrib. Now he's staying at my parents' house to be looked after by my parents. I hope to be able to take care of my parents when they are old and weak. Ya Allah! Berikan aku kekuatan and kesabaran untuk menjaga mereka bila mereka tua nanti.... Sesungguhnya aku mahu menjadi anak yang amat kasih kepada kedua orang tuanya...Amin...

Kitchen_Progress report

The cabinets were installed yesterday. Have a look! This is the BEFORE and AFTER pics:

I'm quite relieved to see the Tidaholm oak fits OK with the rest of the kitchen. This one looks dark because it was 7 am when i took the pics. No handles and worktop yet. I can't wait to use the larder and drawers!.... I can imagine storing all my stuff in those cabinets. When you can imagine, that's a good sign, isn't it....
More items to come and can't wait to use:
The sink & tap
The kitchen appliance

Can't wait to store my recipe books.... I hope i'll be a serious baker once i have an oven. I shall invite friends and cook a Sunday feast... roast chicken, roast veggies, lasagna, profiteroles, chocolate cake and biscuits. Yes, i have to bake biscuits for Raya!.... Oh no! Will i have the time? I don't have any excuses anymore not to make my own biscuits.... Now, that scares me!

Problem encountered:

# What should i do with the hood ducting? Through the plaster ceiling or box it up?

# Where to put the tong beras?

# Where to put the fan?

# The gas hose goes under a 30cm drawer so i really need a longgggg gas hose.

Decisions made_All

I've made quite a progress since my last post:
# I went to Puchong and put on deposit on their Fagor set 2.07.09
# CT Art Design came to do the measurement 7.07.09
# Received IKEA Friends credit card 10.07.09 (applied on 20.06.09, about 3 weeks)
# Took time out on Monday to decide on tiles (but still can't decide)
# Went to IKEA to purchase the cabinets 11.07.09 (3 days before offer ends)
# Went to Living Depot, Puchong to puchase sink & tap & look for Rafi, the Solid Surface Installer 12.07.09 (IKEA's single bowl sink was out of stock)
# Cabinet installation started with touch up to be done next week 15.07.09

Not sure how i feel today. I know i was nervous yesterday.... Shouldn't i feel excited about the whole thing finally taking shape? Having a nice kitchen has been one of my wishes and it is about to come true. Wow.... now, i myself can't believe it.... So is this really what i wish for?

All this self doubt comes about whenever i think about the cost i've spent on the project. Wow, I've spent quite lot, and i really mean a lot.... I embarked on the project and not asking a design company to do it because i thought i could make some savings. I colleague of mine did with RENO Concept and paid about the same as i am. He seems satisfied..... I hope i feel satisfied after mine is completed.... and that's the part that i worry about.... After all the hard work and time spent on the project, will i love or loathe my new kitchen???

Decision 1_Kitchen Appliance

Finally decided on the kitchen appliance and guess which one i'm buying?
After sleepless nights, i decided to based on choice available over savings. I was thinking:
1.Later when all these (kitchen remodeling) done and look back at things i've spent my money on, will i be satisfied?
2.Will my choice follows or at least near to what i want in my kitchen?
3.Which one am i willing to bear, save now regret later, spend now love forever??
When it came to the 3rd question, i feel it's a bit clearer. I don't know whether my decision is right but at least i didn't make the decision based on savings alone. And hopefully whatever thoughts that i have that put me in the direction of buying from Paramax, are worth the money.

Weighing the $$$$ part, if i were to buy from Ikea, it would be because of the discounts alone.
Ikea= RM2,999 + RM540 install + RM200 duct hose = RM3,739
Paramax = RM3,699 + RM200 install = RM3,899
Difference is only RM160 but becomes RM460 if include Ikea rebates (not RM700). So for RM460, should i forgo the chance of being able to choose the look that i want?

Although cheaper, knowing Ikea you only get what you paid for:
#Ikea doesn't give aluminium duct hose (normal grey plastic instead), whereas you can the item get free elsewhere.
#Installation is based on per unit so if you want them to install oven and hob, it costs RM80 each. At least Paramax will help me to put the oven and hob into the cabinet and worktop (the risk is when the items do not fit in places, they are not liable and will not help me to make things right, i have to sort it out with solid surface installer which then I might end up spending more than RM200 on installation anyway).
#For any reworks, Ikea installer may costs more than other installers.

So with reworks costs uncertainty and assumption, i've made my decision on the following:
Hood will become the focal point so 70mm thickness gives more impact than 30mm.
I opt for stainless steel because i'm not used to cooking on glass. I feel as if it might break (although it won't). Stainless steel also reminds me of my mum's... Ikea's offer is glass hob, and glass hob is a bit common, don't you think?