Read this when you are down

Life! Alhamdulillah....

At this moment, I feel rather energetic. I feel like doing work! I don't know where the energy comes from. Is it from the 'jamu' that I take every morning since confinement? Is it from better food choices in my effort of losing weight? Is it because of anticipation going on a break? Is it because it's nearly end of year? Is it because I'm not stressed to prepare the kids for school?

I don't know but I like this feeling. I've lost it since I got pregnant this year. Since my manager became my CFO. Since I wasn't sure what my new role & tasks are. Since I added my school friends in FB. Since I know others who left the company earn more than me (and they are younger). Since new faces in the company also earn 3-4 times more (and they are younger/same age as me). Since I felt some tasks are impossible. I don't know and I I lost the motivation and confidence to live happy.
All this things that make me feel so down and demotivated, if I think too much about them will only worsen the feeling. Thus worsen the energy level and motivation. And now looking back, I believe my pregnancy is a blessing in disguise. With the 2 months maternity leave, I was able to do some thinking. I had the time to try and understand where my life at the moment and where I want it to be. Remembering what I have and I have not done, what I should have and shouldn't have done.

It is normal that our emo, confidence, motivation goes up and down. Everyone goes through the same thing regardless who they are. The important part is how fast we pick ourselves up when life hit the low. And it takes practice to be fast and move to the next chapter. This is actually how people change for the better...
And once we have master one positive attitude, we should try to master another one.

So I feel I have now manage to pick myself up during emotion turmoils quicker than before. I just need to look ahead and think about my kids and afterlife. I feel grateful with what I have and I understand, to want more is to strive more out of comfort zone.

I should be happy for other people's happiness, I should provide encouragement to my children as they need to hear them. I should think positive and help others when they feel negative. I should not listen to negative remarks if it will only dampen my spirit. Be confident but don't overdo it. Take care of your body and health. Strive for what you want and it doesn't necessarily mean money, wealth, big salary. If your want is expensive, start saving! It might take ages but once you get it, you will get to say "Finally!" and it will be you who is satisfied. Aim high but never forget your purpose towards Allah SWT. Thank you Allah for this wonderful feeling!

Back from maternity leave

I was back yesterday. Nothing much going on. Everyone said I seem back in shape (happy!happy!).
 Sometimes I denied and sometimes I thanked for the compliment. Just don't want to get too comfortable...
So woke up at about 5.20am, cooked pasta olio as lunch pack aiming to embark on healthy diet. Went to Ayam Kampung Tuan Faridah at Puchong instead.

The popular lunch spot

Had nasi putih, 1 quarter ayam kampung, sambal kering ikan bilis+kacang and soya bean. And for dinner, ate the pasta plus small portion of rice, broccoli and chilli crab. Plus 3 chocolate cookies. There goes my plan!.....
My weight yesterday was 74.6kg (wow!) but this morning was 75.4kg :-(  That's a 0.8kg increase)
Points to remember:
Eat small meals (6 meals daily)
Eat on time (7nish am, Noon, 7nish pm). Have biscuits for breaks
Drink a lot
Eat slowly to detect when you're actually full
Choose what you eat

Apam polka dot

My eldest requested me to make this for her last day of school party. I said 'ok' because I've seen Niza made it and it looked quite simple. So another firsts....
The recipe requires simple ingredients. Most stuffs I have in the cupboard except ovalette and 'bekas apam'. I only bought 20 pcs@RM4.50 because I know my mum has some which I can borrow. And in case I'm only 'hangat-hangat tahi ayam' like the creamwell...muahaha!
Mix all ingredients until you get a thick batter and stuff in a few pipings bag to colour and ease the filling process.Then just fill the papercup which you place in the 'bekas apam' and steam for about 10 min. I can only steam 20 pcs at a time because my steamer is small and only a layer. My mum has 2 or 3 (can't remember but definitely more than 1) layers and bigger too. So it took longer time to finish since the batter can do about 100-120 pcs.

Egg and sugar and ovalette

The fun part as enjoyed by my eldest is definitely decorating. The easiest but excellent outcome is of course doing the polka dot. The piece will look like mushrooms but it's really up to your own creativity.

Since it was my first, there were rejects. My apam breaks on top like normal apam but you need the apam to be rounded to show off the decorated top.

One cracked and one menjadi

The apam breaks because the temperature was too high. I need to turn the stove to VERY LOW to avoid my apam from breaking.
Verdict: Definitely a hit but i need to think how to speed up the process.

Kakak helping out

A design came to her mind

Before being steamed

1 box of apam for Dina's school party

2 boxes of 1 reject and 1 menjadi. Which is which? :-)

Buttercream & choux pastry

I have creamwell lying in my cupboard since early this year. Before it gone bad, I decided to use it to make buttercream. The recipe is simple: just creamwell and icing sugar. No butter and it tastes nicer. The plan was make it as filling for the choux pastry.

Creamwell/buttercream

This was my 2nd attempt in making the pastry which can be turned into profiteroles, cream puffs or eclairs. The mixture though became runny like thick batter whereas it supposed to be like a soft dough. Probably because i beat it too long.Thus the pastry rose high out of the oven but plummeted once cold. Tried to make a swan out if the pastry. For a first try, it was not bad. You just need to make an oval shape for the body and and S for the neck. Love doing it but the kids don't like the filling and don't like the pastry on it's own either.

You should do the body & neck separately!

Plummeted already....

Verdict: Choux pastry is not a big hit although it can impress guests/others. If I want to impress, i definitely need more practice.

Personalized Yassin

Been thinking to give away yassin as door gift for kenduri aqiqah. My intention is to regard this as sedekah and hoping the pahala will multiple when people read the yassin.

100 pcs in a box

Design of booklet

The insides with translation. Like it.

During mid October I found this website Creatively Designed where 1 yassin costs RM3 each. The products seem gorgeous on the website but quite out of my budget (unless I want to order mininum quantity of 50). To satisfy my want, I was planning to order only 50 pcs to suit my budget but procrastinate in placing the order. I also nearly scrapped my plan until one day on 1st Nov I saw the company was advertising a 1/2 price sale on the personalized yassin. I jumped from my seat because i was so thrilled! I can order more quantity with the same price! So I quickly made some phone calls and browsing to choose a design for the booklet. I had to pay extra RM50 due to rush order and I don't mind. So I paid RM200 for 100 pcs of personalized yassin. Although the yassin on sale is only in black and white, I was very satisfied and love the design. And i think it looks better in BW than in colour. Alhamdulillah, tercapai juga hasrat ini....

End of maternity leave

I don't wanna go to work! Next week I'll be back in the office after my 60 day maternity leave...Boringgg!
I've been baking these few days i.e doing things that I might not do once I'm back to work. I've gained better confidence in baking cakes. The ingredients are more a less the same except  additional 2 or 3. I did mostly chocolate cake because it uses less eggs and butter. I do want to bake other cake e.g. buttercake or sponge cakebut I haven't found recipes that use minimal eggs and butter. I've tried 3 different recipes for chocolate cake, brownies, chocolate ganache, buttercream for decorating and today tried to make swans out of choux pastry.
 I'm planning to bake a chocolate cake for the kids birthday party on the 9th of December thus the enthusiasm.
You won't have the time for thoughts once you're stuck deep in your job so I used the long break that I have to muhasabah, plan things and enjoy my life at home.

Holiday at Sungkai

On the 29th October, we had a weekend trip to Felda Hot Spring, Sungkai in Perak. It was the first 'Family Day' arranged by neighbours of Lorong 3/14. I was on my 40th day of confinement so the trip was 'legal' for me. It was a first holiday outing for Lutfi so i was quite anxious actually. Alhamdulillah, he behaved well, slept through the night except he couldn't stand the aircond thus had blocked nose. Oh yeah! It was the first outing with Abah's new Estima too...

Lutfi on the way to Sungkai.

The reception of Sungkai Felda Residence.

Creative eh. Umbrella turned into eye catching lamp shade

Among the activities.

The trip was enjoyable. Since i couldn't join any physical activities, I went to book a session with the spa. I paid RM140 for a Traditional Massage + Body Scrub. The spa is well decorated, I give 7/10. The service, mmmm... could be improved. The staff possibly is not  professionally trained thus I give 5/10. They have 2 huts and each hut has 2 rooms. 1 hut for the ladies and the other is for men. Value for money? Possibly...

The massage area. Nice

The other side of the room

Entrance to the massage room

The hut that has 2 massage rooms

Lush greenery

The entrance to the spa

I was quite good on controlling what I ate except for breakfast on Sunday. I actually filled with 2 wholemeal bread with peanut butter & strawberry jam. But I sat there too long waiting for kakak and my husband to finish theirs thus I was helping myself with other stuff too (such as mee rebus & telur goreng mata kerbau!). I still resisted the oily stuff though such as nasi lemak and fried kuey teow.

What I had initially. Looks healthy isn't it

My hubby's

View from where we sat during breakfast

The room is spacious. I think because their target group is families. That's a plus point for us since we are now parents with 4 kids and a bibik.

Our room is 222, on the 1st floor

Could you see Lutfi on the bed?

Lutfi, geared for the holiday

Made him wear this before he outgrows it

Our room connected to Bibik's room

(No pictures at the Hot Spring because i was busy looking after Lutfi)
All in all, it was an outing long waited for since i was pregnant. Looking forward to plan for 2012 now!....

On the way to our Sunday lunch

 

Having problem to go through the small 'titi'.

The convoy

Chocolate all the way

I baked chocolate cake twice and tried a brownies recipe (baked on different days)during my confinement. All ingredients were available so I thought why not. I tried Jamie Oliver's recipe and it turned out ok although a bit burned and overbaked. My oven gets really hot and i can't use the heat and time length as per instruction. I have to try and error to understand my oven....

Jamie O's recipe. Fresh from the oven

After drizzling the chocolate sauce

 I'm always amazed by people who manage to take pictures of  what they have done especially with the before and after. It is fulfilling to see the fruits of your labour. Hope I will remember next time....